We’re heading to the second month! Mikkel is now six weeks old and we are increasingly connected. I already understand him better and sometimes I can even predict some reactions or some of his needs. Of course, it would be easier if he spoke or had an instruction manual of sorts. K.K.K.K (nervous laugh).
The days are long as I have been always so busy – and that may be why time goes so fast. I get up from bed around 8am, change his diapers – I have learned that it has to be done before he eats so the position of legs raised when putting on new diapers to not cause discomfort and even vomiting. After breastfeeding I try to make him to sleep again by finishing his meals laying down on bed again. If it works and he finally sleeps again, I take a nap with him. It’s such a great feeling to be spooning with him. He feels safe and I feel the happiest mother.
So I try to take a breakfast. I have some frozen fruits in the freezer and make a green juice – two or three cups will do until lunch – which will ever happen in the afternoon. Until then I eat fruits, yoghurts … Everything has to be easy to do, specially to do with one hand. In fact I think after a while mothers (and fathers too) become ninjas in the arts of doing everything with one hand only.
Mikkél likes to hang out around the house. I walk back and forth trying to make him sleep then I put it on a chair head to the office to work with him on my side. We divided the day between breastfeeding, rush to work and meet deadlines, tiredness, lack of time to make a proper meal, always trying to take a nap, more breastfeeding and a joy when Dad arrives. That’s when I’ll take a shower and have a me-time. Hubby and me take turns so as to cook and to eat dinner. Our prince is much more active between 20h and 23h. Then we go to bed and I just hope for more than 1 hour of continuous sleep.
Tiredness, Paranoia and much love
Every day is a roller coaster of emotions, I’m always very tired, trying to do everything on my own. I must sleep, breastfeed, change the diapers, bathe Mikkél, dress him, wash our clothes (his, are separate and require special treatment, of course). I also must eat during the day, to cook at evening because I want to have a decent dinner with my husband, I have to talk to my family, sending pictures of the baby, must be social cause leaving home is also good for me. I have to clean the house and on top I’m moving to a new apartment, I need to pack everything I have.
Besides, I need to work. I have a large consultancy in progress, follow up on smaller projects that carry on in the same time, have to prospect new customers as I keep the relationship with the ones I already have. Plus I need to dedicate myself to the brand I already am an ambassador for. Then there is my blog to be updated. So I must produce images. I need to get ready, assemble all the styling, to do makeup and hair, dress my son, breastfeed with time coordinated he does not get hungry while I shoot the pictures. And it is getting cold here every day, right? It makes it more time consuming to leave the house and shoot outdoors.
Ainda com tudo isso eu continuo achando que preciso dar conta de tudo. E cara, eu preciso mesmo. Vocês sabem quanto custa um bebê na Noruega? Pelamor…
Mas esse sentimento de pressão pra dar conta de tudo é super perigoso. Eu sei que é humanamente impossível dar conta de tudo sozinha, eu sei. Mas mesmo sabendo eu luto na minha cabeça contra uma idéia de que a responsabilidade é minha, o filho é meu.
Even with it all, I still think I need to do everything myself. And man, I do need to work and keep productive. You know how much a baby in Norway?!!!! But the feeling of pressure to handle everything is super dangerous. I know it’s humanly impossible to do everything alone, I know. I keep fighting with myself against an idea that the responsibility is mine, the child is mine.
My husband helps a lot. But it works out of the house and cannot stay up all night with the baby. And it’s so good for you to get home after a long day and to have some me-time right? I want him to have it, so I try not to ask for too many things before he is done with his stuff. In turn he calls my attention when I try to always be omnipresent.He encourages me to I go to events, babysits whenever he can so I can do my stuff. But at night, when I really need it because sleep is a must, he is so tired that I do not trust that he’ll wake up when the baby needs. So I do not sleep again. And we get both stressed.
O bom é que com o tempo as coisas têm se ajeitado. Eu tô mais relaxada e o bebê tendo mais rotina. Meu marido e eu estamos conseguindo ter pelo menos uma horinha pra gente. Vemos nossas séries na hora do jantar, ficamos abraçadinhos no sofá, nós três. Ele fala do dia dele, dos clientes chatos, nós fazemos piadas e rimos. Eu conto dos emails e próximos photoshoots e o bebê come e dorme, mais come do que dorme. E assim a nossa vida tá indo. Essa calma estressante tá me deixando bem feliz, cansada, noiada mas bem feliz! Mikkél é um bebê feliz, faz muito sons de aaauuu, uhhuul, exercita muito o pescoço, pernas e braços, se vira pro meu lado de noite com esforço e sorri bastante pra mim e pro pai. Esse sorriso me dá anos luz de energia pra ficar de boas sem dormir direito. É amor muito infinito.
The good thing is that with time things have been falling into place. I’m more relaxed and the baby having more routines. My husband and I are managing to have at least one hour for ourselves. We watch series at dinnertime, we hang out on the couch, the three of us. He tells about his day, his boring customers, we make jokes and laugh. I tell about my emails and next photoshoots and baby eats and sleeps, eats more than sleeps. And so our lives keeps going. This stressful calmness has been making me very happy, tired, paranoid but very happy! Mikkel is a happy baby who makes a lot of sounds like aaauuu, uhhuul. He exercises his neck, legs and arms, turns to my side at night with effort and smiles a lot to me and his daddy. That smile gives me light and years of energy to get move forward with little sleep and so much stress. It’s infinite love.
Mom and baby photoshoot
Me and my baby had a photoshoot together. Since Lindex has included larger sizes in their different fashion concepts, I have been invited to pick styles I like so I would inspired more full figured ladies with my views of Lindex clothes. I have posted about it here, ahere and ahere.
This time I picked a black bodycon ribbed tricot midi dress. It has such a great shape, perfect length and fits my curves like a glove. It can be styles in so many ways that I definitely recommend it for every woman. It works just fine with an ankle boot as well as with a sandal like I wore.
*Dress and baby clothes have been sponsored.
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