That’s the only way for true happiness. It can sound a bit utopic and simplified (maybe it is) but when you change your perception of yourself, the world change right before your eyes. It is like magic. But is it that easy? It ain’t that hard eighter. I got some tricks to share that may help you too. Plus, some thoughts on what do they want from me.
When I was around 12 years old i met a girl at my English course. She spoke so good English, she could sing along Wonderwall, by Oasis, she had the best grades, studies at the best school, she was pretty and sweet. She became my friend and I admired her so much. I wanted to be like her when it came to my grades and my English skills. We grew up, kept our friendship. We were not as close as we used to, but I still admired her and still wanted to hang out with her. But life became so busy. One day we finally reunited and travelled together. We went to a beach paradise outside Rio. It was super fun. like, girls road trip. It was great to keep up with her and see that she was still the girl I admired.
One day we were at the beach, talking and working on our tan. I was wearing my favourite swimsuit. So chic. I had my beach outfit on fleek, I was feeling myself. And I guess she understood it so she came with her best compliment to me: “you know Gisella, I love that you are so confident, you are not embarrassed at all. You look so good.”. Well, that was a compliment, believe it or not. Did I get upset? Of course, did I thank her? Yes, I did.
And there I understood that she didn’t see herself as I did. I understood that she struggles with her self-esteem although I thought the world of her. And for her, it was impressive and inspiring that I was not embarrassed. Because she learned and believed a girl who looked different from the “beauty standards” is wrong. My friend thought I was rebellious and avant-garde because I am not embarrassed about being fat. She, like a looot of people, expected me to be embarrassed of myself because I break the beauty standards. HA HA HA.
Honestly, I do not think my friend was being mean to me. She just made me feel bad for her for being so narrow-minded when it came to body image and women behaviour. I shared with her the same tricks I am sharing here. Maybe it helps more people as it helps me and it helped her.
- Comparison is the death of happiness. This is known and it the truest true. Nobody is as happy as they are on social media. The models don’t look like their own pictured in magazines. The grass is not greener over there. We all struggle, the difference is how we decide to deal with it. Embrace the situation, acknowledge your weaknesses and choose your battles.
- Find your best angle and work it. Make a collection of pictures you look good in. Train your eye to find your best, not your flaws.
- Surround yourself with people that actually bring out the good in your and make sure you do the same for them. Life is too short to waste your time with people that add nothing to your life. Don’t start to cut off people now, but give them less and less room in your life until they are naturally gone.
- Make a list. Yes, a list in a paper with your favourite pen. Write down the qualities you have: good friend, fun, good cooker, stylish, you name it. And get that list with you, read it often until you know it by heart.
- Go in the mirror, take a good look at yourself and praise what your body does for you. All the places it takes you… praise yourself
- Train your brain to find good qualities in yourself and other people and make sure they know you think good of them. The energy you give is the energy you get.
Today when I took the pictures in this post I thought of my friend and how she would say that she loves that I am not embarrassed. Well, how could I be embarrassed of being in a picture wearing my favourite lingerie at the moment? The fit is so good and I feel sexy and comfy. I always liked the lingerie from Change because they are specialists, the pieces are handmade and there is something for everyone in the shops. Besides, the staff is well trained and the experience of buying lingerie becomes “elegant”.
*outfit has been sponsored by Change Lingerie Norway